The Lesser Man

1978

2009-07-13T06:19:00.001-07:00

Think about 1978. How old were you? What were you doing? What was your future? 1978.

I think about 1978 alot lately. Not because I am old, although that might have a bit to do with it. We cannot help but think about our past as we age. As we go through changes. As we deal with today. I hope I am not obsessing with 1978 for those reasons.

I seem to obsess about alot of things lately.

Right now it is 1978. Again I ask, what were you doing. I know what I was doing. In July 1978, I was in Connecticut. Plebe Summer at the US Coast Guard. I was in the best shape of my life. I was running 3-5 miles per day. I was running up and down 3 flights of stairs, several times per day. I was running everywhere.

I had just graduated from High School. I was 17. I had been a pretty dang good high school football player. Involved in school government. Straight A student. Getting ready to play football at the Academy. I was in great shape.

My Dad, Grandmother and Papa were all still alive. I don't want to talk about that any more. But I do miss them all.

Where is this going. I will reiterate, I was in the best shape of my life. I weighed 221 rock hard pounds of football fury. Heh, that was silly.

Fast forward 28 years. 2007. Sick, tired. 447 Pounds, Fat. Dying. Fat. Unhappy. I don't want to talk about that anymore.

So why do I write today? Why do I put this drivel on paper?

Fast Forward 2 years. July 2009. Many changes, health. 2 Surgeries. Wife healthy. OMG - new obsessions. But I weighed myself this morning. 220 pounds. Yep thats right. 220 pounds. 220 pounds of not so rock hard football fury.

I liked July 1978. I love July 2009!

Half the man I was!

2009-07-07T10:20:00.000-07:00

I am researching half the man I used to be. Songs written by Clint Black, Merle Haggard, a real strange one by Nirvana.

Usually when one refers to being half the man he used to be, it is a negative thing. I am not there today. As today, I am half the man I used to be. Not because she made me that way, as Merle croons. She has not broke me down and made me half the man.

Today, I have lost 223.5 pounds. Today I weigh 223.5 pounds. Yep, I am half the man I was. It is a good day.

Half the man I used to be! It is a very good day! Indeed!

Fainting

2009-06-25T12:05:00.001-07:00

Not me. I did not faint, but I will get there.

Today I am Post-op + 8 days. I am surprised by many things. Let me think. I am surprised by the pain. Or should I say lack of pain. ok true, I am a firm believer in chemicals. Living by modern chemical science, whatever. But I have been told that this was the holy mother of God painful surgery that would have me crunched over in pain and doubt. It has just really not been there. The worst has been the JP drain sites and Doc Hollins removed two of the drains today. The incision just has not been that bad. At worst, the incision site has been a 3-4 on a scale of 10, and that was after 10 hours with no pain meds, 1 hour in the car, no breakfast and a tough night sleeping.

The reasons the JP drain sites hurt, again is not really the drain itself, but the sutures holding the drain in place. If the drains move and pulls, or there is oozing from around the drain and the oozing hardens into my and pubies. Yes I said oozing and pubis and all of my kids on facebook are a little grossed out right now, then I get really painful localized pinching and pulling around the drain site. (Note to self - recommend Brazillian Wax prior to surgery to all those contemplating) The good thing about the JP drains is that there are two less right now. The drainage was less than 15 cc for the last 24 hours for 2 of the 3 drains, and actually was for the last 2 days. Doc said he normally does not remove so early, but he is keeping one in and I am healing up great. He expects to see that one remaining drain keep draining at 30-40 cc per day for a few days. When that one gets to less than 20, (expect next week) he will pull it, Yay - no more robo hoses protruding from my body.

Doc also pulled the steri-strips off the major incision today. Looks great, pretty symmetrical and is healing up great. I am down about 9 pounds from before the surgery which is kind of cool.

I am surprised by the amount of bruising. On both of my hips I have bruises 6 or so inches above and below the incision. Doc did some lipo at the hips and it is really bruised, as is my nether regions. The bruising is is heavy black and blue and starting to get some beautiful sunflower yellow out of it. Yuck. There also seems to be some potential pooling of fluids on my left side above the major incision, we need to keep an eye on, but Doc is not worried.

Doc re-prescribed more chemicals, yay, and all in all I am feeling pretty good. Oh yeah, the fainting part. Doc had a young Kid "Shadowing" him today. Probably a 19 year old college student. Bad Shirt, Bad Tie, Cheap Shoes. I believe he was trying to determine if he wanted to go to Med School or not. So Doc stood me up, took off the steri-strips and decided to to remove two of the drains. All was well. So Doc snipped the sutures, and proceeded to remove the drain, which was really kind of cool. About 8 or so inches of tygone tubing in me being pulled out slowly. There was a bit of blood, and I looked over at the young shadow, and said "Cool"! I turned back to Doc and we heard a crumple in the corner. The Young Shadow fainted. Poor kid. He was all embarrassed, and apologizing. Doc told him to stay on the ground, proceeded to remove the other drain and clean me up. Poor Kid. Maybe there is a future in Auto-Mechanics! Funny funny stuff!

Be well all and I will keep you updated.

The Haze

2009-06-21T09:44:00.000-07:00

I think about what I want to remember on surgery days. Because I have had two major surgeries now, and they were both planned, i could prepare. I had time to think about what I wanted to do, what I wanted to remember, and with this surgery, almost pre-plan what I wanted to write about. Funny, the twists planning brings us.

I wanted to remember the name of my Anesthesiologist. I wanted to remember the music playing in the Operating Room. I wanted to remember my time in the recovery room, so I could accurately write about it.

I can't. I don't. It's a haze. That drives me crazy.

I like to think that I have a great memory. Great recall of events, and I cannot remember. How damn hard is it to remember a song, even a genre? Dr. Hollins seems like a classical music guy. Definitely not opera. If not classical, then classic rock for sure. I don't see Boot Scootin Boogie playing in the OR while he is performing his art. Yes, I said art. He is an artist. So I want to think it was Classical, and unless he tells me, I will never know. I can't freaking remember.

It's a haze.

I cannot remember the Drug Dealers name either. I call her the Drug Dealer, truthfully because it is easier than thinking about the spelling of Anesthesiologist every time, and she gets paid to make me feel good. Really, that is her job. She gets paid to ensure I feel no pain. Make the cares of the world go away. I Imagine it would be difficult to be the child of an Anesthe...Hell, Drug Dealer. Think about your kid having to take you to share a parent day and your child having to write Anesthesiologist on the board in front of the class. It would be traumatic, and again since her job was to make me feel good - I choose to call her my Drug Dealer. I get the really good stuff from her.

She gave me the Haze.

Again, I remember nothing about the recovery room. Must be a really boring unremarkable place, as I have no memories of it.

It is a Haze.

I don't remember my ride to my room. Haze.

Wait, I think we bumped into the wall while I was being transported. Not sure. Haze.

I guess it is good that it all was a haze. There was a movie released in December of 2007 called "Awake". It talks about the,omg, fact that 30000 people per year actually feel something during surgery and remember it. From pulling to, you guessed it, the whole kit and caboodle. Yes complete cutting, tearing and ripping. Now that deserves an OMG. 100 people per day, awake enough during surgery to feel and remember it.

It is a haze. I am glad it was.

So here I am, day one of the new me. And it is a haze. I know, bad grammar. I never promised proper grammar with this blog. Just stories. Today, it is a haze, and for that I thank my Drug Dealer.

Now I am wondering why I have the song, I've got friends in low places, stuck running through my head????? Hmmm, it's a haze.

Countdown to a New Me

2009-06-16T07:25:00.000-07:00

I just had my pre-op conversation with Mary Kay - the access nurse for the University of Nebraska Medical Center. She seemed nice, and genuinely concerned for me. Don't ever be mean to a nurse. They make hospital life bearable, and don't get near the credit they deserve.

We went over my surgery plans, health history, etc. Amazing how much the answers have changed since the original surgery. Not even 2 years ago, and I was dying. Yes dying. Much quicker than I am dying today. It is hard to imagine how sick I was two years ago. What is more difficult, is how could I have ignored it so? How could I let myself get that way? I still have not figured that one out. If you are contemplating Gastric Bypass Surgery, one of the things that is recommended is continued therapy or counseling.

Do that. Deal with the issues. Deal with what got you to obese, or morbidly obese, or as in my case Super Morbidly Obese. There has to be a reason. Has to be something that kicked you into overdrive on ignoring your health. Being this far into it, I sometimes chuckle when people say it is genetic, or its my metabolism. For the most part, those folks are still in denial. It is the calories fool, and the fact that for some reason you don't want to take care of yourself. I still don't know what my reason was, but I have decided to go on the quest to find out. When this final surgery is over - that will be my quest. Find out what caused me to do this to myself. Not blame others, I did this. I gained the weight. I caused this, and I need to find out why.

I wrote about mortality yesterday. Not because I have any concerns about the surgery. But I have begun to wonder about how I will be remembered. Is that vanity? SWMBO says, and I agree, I am vane. I admit it. Is it vanity to be concerned with what people think about you? How one will be remembered? Is vanity such a bad thing? Is it bad to want to look nice for someone, to not embarrass them? I believe if you are consumed with anything, it is bad. Just as being consumed with vanity would be bad. But I don't think it is bad to desire to better yourself, in many different ways. I want to be better. A better father first. I want to be an awesome grandfather. I want to be an awesome husband. It is strange that I put those in that order. I want to be a better employee - sorry GE - you are number 4 on the list. I want to play the guitar, paint, write, dream and do all those things with passion.

I want to sail around the world. I want to run on the beach, a very private beach- naked (Sorry Jason and Brooke - Dad running naked probably not a great visual) - and I will say it again, a very private beach! All my Christian friends are going to chastise me for that one - and Brooke will say Dad - you always go one step too far.

I am rambling today. Sorry about that. Random thoughts exploding out of my fingers. This has been a wild ride. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. I will see all of you on the other side. Hopefully blogging tomorrow night or thursday, in a morphine or vicodin induced haze. I actually look forward to that. Last time I wrote under those circumstances, it was fun. My insights were funny and the stories were good. Thanks for all your well wishes. See you on Thursday!

Mortality

2009-06-15T06:26:00.001-07:00

I find it fascinating that when I am getting ready for surgery, my thought seem to migrate to my mortality. Not that I worry about it. But I think about it. Think about the what ifs, the why's, the legacy. I am not at all worried about eternity. I have that one in hand, so I am promised. But I am thinking about the now.

What is a legacy? There is a line in a song that I like - "I want to leave a legacy, how will they remember me..?" What will I leave? What will I be remembered for? Whom have I impacted? Listen, I am not planning on dying this week. But as i said, fascinating how I tend to focus on my mortality in times like these. I hope I have affected people positively. I know I have done some stupid things. I know I have hurt some people. But overall, I hope I have done more good that bad. It is amazing how our minds work. Focusing on the bad memories, focusing on the hurt. The hurt and pain over-riding the joy and kindness.

Why does that happen? Why to we let the bad memories control our lives. Why do we sometimes live in the scars of the past? I know I am not answering anything here? Really just rambling thoughts being put down on paper? I try not to live there. Try not to live in the pain of the past, but in thinking about my mortality, all my memories come into play. Not just the good ones.

I want to leave a good legacy, I want people to remember me for the good that I did. The positive life I have led. I hope that is the way it is.

Preparations

2009-06-09T11:53:00.000-07:00

Eight Days. Eight days away from a scalpel. I am preparing in the only way I know how. That is to write what I am feeling. Write what I am thinking. I am listening to a cool mix that a friend gave me for my Ipod. I find it calms me. Helps me to think. Helps me to focus on the tasks ahead.

Today I am returning home from 7 days in upstate New York with my son and daughter-in-law. It was a celebration of their marriage. Yes they married 7 months ago, but we had the party this weekend. It was going seeing old friends, but I don’t know that I will ever live there again. I miss my son, his wife, her family, but that is really about it. Not much more. I really am enjoying my life in the Midwest, in fact it is now my life. Omaha is where the changes have take place. The changes in my body. The changes in my mindset. The changes in my life.

I believe the Midwest is now my home, and I am comfortable there. I don’t know where in the Midwest. But, I like it here. Especially Omaha and Minneapolis.

So, back to my preparations. Wednesday of this week I will have my pre surgery visit. Blood work, check up. Physical. Workups. Ready for the big day. Yesterday I put my sort term disability claim in. This is a requirement at GE for any illness over 7 days. Make sure you check your employer’s requirements. The disability payments do not kick in until 20 sick days out, but at least all the preps are complete and if recovery takes 6 weeks, I will be getting paid. As a good employee, they will continue to pay me 100% of my pay. I do not expect to be out more that three weeks as I am normally a pretty quick healer and seem to have a relatively high pain tolerance.

As far as the pain. I am starting to think about that pain more often. The knowledge that this surgery will be much more painful, or should I say the recovery from this surgery, is starting to weigh upon me. My WLS was six small holes, and 3-4 days into the surgery, the pain was really pretty minimal. I have heard and read that this could be easy, or very difficult. I don’t know where I will end up! I am trying not to think about it. But, it is beginning to weigh upon me. Continues to be that thought that is often in the back of my head. I will, in my way, keep all of you informed.

I have an “In Case Something Stupid Happens” file in my file cabinet. It is the first file in the drawer. Big letters. Bold.

“In Case Something Stupid Happens”

SWMBO hates that file. Every Man, Father, Husband ought to have one of these files. Wives, girlfriends, lovers and children probably hate these files. Wives, lovers, girlfriends and children will cringe when they read this part. But I would not be a responsible Father and Husband if I did not have one of these. It has all the insurance information. The investment information. Locations of the stuff. In case something stupid happens.

Why am I afraid to say “If I die?” I find that fascinating.

When you have surgery, they make you sign a release, talking about side effects of the surgery your are having. Side effects of the anesthesia. One of the side effects is always death. I would feel so much better if one of the side effects were “Sometimes something stupid happens!” I don’t want something stupid to happen. But it could and I need to be prepared. Insurance papers. I will also call my financial advisor. Makes sure he know what my desires are for SWMBO and the Grommets. They really are not grommets any more, I just like calling them that.

I will also call my PCP this week. That is my “Primary Care Physician”. Make sure he knows I am going under the knife next week also.

So here I am. Eight days out. Waiting. Ready. Really. This is very cool!

Bellybuttons.

2009-06-09T11:48:00.000-07:00

I am thinking about bellybuttons today. Is the correct spelling bellybuttons or belly buttons? Spell check corrects neither. I need to check on that.

I should not be thinking about bellybuttons, but I am.

You see, in 15 or so days, I could no longer have one. I could be bellybuttonless. Spell check wanted to change that – but I am not going to. I imagine it is really no big deal. I receive any nourishment through it. It does not breath for me. Someone once told me I should have a window installed in place of my bellybuttons. Seems I had my head up my ass that day and it would help me to see. It really provides no real pleasure. I have never let a cute girl do a body shot out of it (Note to self – must try this if Surgeon does not lose my bellybutton). It can be a storage facility, a portable storage facility for lint.

Sometimes when I sweat, my bellybutton stinks. You have to get real close to smell it, but it can have a rather ripe aroma. Warning, stay away from Jim’s bellybutton after a workout! That warning may no longer be necessary in 2 weeks.

15 days and potentially no bellybutton. You may be asking why? Ok, here is the deal. Dr. Hollin’s casually informed me with the Abdominoplasty, I have, well actually he has, a 40% chance of losing my bellybutton. That is really almost one in two, fifty/fifty, ot fitty/fitty. How does a man, so well educated, so well trained, a master plastic surgeon actually lose my belly button?

At first, I also just casually said “Ok”! Now I am not so sure it is Ok with me.

Think about it, I am almost 50 years old, and never once, not even once for a second, lost my bellybutton. One time I went to the Del Mar Fair in California, I lost my son for about 10 seconds, It was scary, seemed like an eternity. I lose my keys almost every day. Yet, I have never lost my bellybutton for even one second, and in 14 days I could have lost it forever. Weird.

SWMBO watch’s all kinds of surgery shows. Loves them. I used to, until I watched the one about the vasectomy. Ouch! I don’t watch them anymore. But she, nor I have ever heard about this 40% bellybutton losing phenomena due to this particular surgery. I know I should be thinking about other things. Like not waking up after anesthesia. Insurance. Disability. Who is going to take care of my customers while I am recovering.

But I am not. I am pondering the outcome of my bellybutton.

Sure, I am thinking occasionally about the other aspects of this surgery, a slimmer, trimmer me. No more scary skin. No more rashes. Yep, I said rashes. Ewwww! But I really want to keep my bellybutton. It is a nice bellybutton, and somehow is part of the complete me. I have been told, he can make a new one, but it really doesn’t look the same. I have been told I can have one tattooed on. That would be cool, probably will add the words “Insert Lint Here” or “Imagine the aroma”. But do I really want a tattooed bellybutton on place of the original?

I don’t really want to lose my belly button. Note to self, I should take a picture of my bellybutton, just in case???? Heh!

I Must

2009-06-02T20:13:00.000-07:00

I write, again, and again, I write. I don’t quite understand why I must. Why I must put these random thoughts down on paper, or whatever it is that we put them down upon. But I must do this. You may, or may not care what I have to say. May agree, or again may not. But I must express myself. Express myself publicly. Physically expose my thoughts, my feelings, what I want to present. It is strange, I want your blessings, your approval, I want you to like what I write. But at the same time, I really could care less. I have to write these words. I must write them.

I must.

So much has changed in the last two years. Too much. Really, sometimes it is just too much. One must be prepared beyond belief to deal with the change. The weight loss, the attention, the changes are almost too much to bear sometimes. Not that I would change anything, not one single thing. I cannot even imagine being 450 pounds again. I would venture to guess that SWMBO would agree. She can’t even imagine herself being almost 300 pounds again or me at 450. I even have trouble remembering that person today. Just 18 short months later. Who was that person, why did he get that big? How could he get that big? It is one of the reasons I blog. One of the reasons I write. I don’t want to ever forget that man. Ever forget that pain. Ever forget those feelings of inadequacy, the pain of that life, of being just that damn big. This is probably the main reason I must write.

I must write.

So now I start over. Start writing again. In fifteen days, I will again undergo another major surgery. This Abdominoplasty is the next to last step in my personal metamorphosis. That change from a caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly, a beautiful butterfly searching for its rose. I know, Jim a butterfly? I don’t have a better example. Give me one please. Something in nature that changes from one form to an incredible other form? I am sure there is one, one example. I just don’t know what it is. But I really want to be that butterfly. Amazing all as it sits there, emerged from that shell of a cocoon, letting its wings absorb the energy from the sun in preparation to fly. Then lifting off. The color in its wings, red and blue. Am I ready for this? The metamorphosis? This final change in my person? My body? I am looking forward to the scars. The forever reminder of where I was, and where I have progressed to, where I have been.

I must write this story.

This surgery will be much more painful. The last was six little holes. SWMBO tells me this will be bad. Damn, she watches way too many medical shows. She knows how long the recovery will take, talks about the number of drains, the two months or more of swelling. She knows just too much. But I have to have this. It is a need now, not just a want. I need this. Need the pain. I need this to remember. I need this to grow. The intoxication is still here. People that I have not seen in a long time are still amazed. But, the occasions of amazement are farther apart and fewer now. I need this pain to remember. Remember that intoxication that I call life. That intoxication will be rekindled, through this pain. Through this next to last change. So again, I must write. Let you experience my thoughts, my desires, experience this change with me. I will photograph, chronicle and share. I covet your thoughts and prayers as I go through this. Just 15 days away. Again putting my life in the hands of Surgeons, Anesthesiologists and Nurses. I will write it all. You will experience it all. I will hold nothing back. SWMBO likes that sometimes, and doesn’t other times. But you will hear about all of it. All of it. The pain, the tears, the successes and failures. For this reason I write.

I must.

A New Chapter?

2009-05-06T11:01:00.000-07:00

Again, I begin to write.

Again, I begin to contemplate.

Again, I begin.

A new chapter unfolds before me. June 17, 2009 approaches quickly. That is the date that I again, will "go under the knife". That is the day for my Abdominoplasty.

According to Mr. Wiki :

Abdominoplasty operations vary in scope and are frequently subdivided into categories. Depending on the extent of the surgery, a complete abdominoplasty can take 1 to 5 hours. A partial abdminoplasty (Mini-Tuck Abdominoplasty) can be completed between 1 to 2 hours.

Complete abdominoplasty
In general, a complete (or full) abdominoplasty follows these steps:
An incision is made from hip to hip just above the pubic area.
Another incision is made to free the navel from the surrounding skin.
The skin is detached from the abdominal wall to reveal the muscles and fascia to be tightened. The muscle fascia wall is tightened with sutures.
The remaining skin and fat are tightened by removing the excess and closing the defect.
The old belly button stalk is brought out through a new hole and sutured into place.
Liposuction is often used to refine the transition zones of the abdominal sculpture.
A dressing and sometimes a compression garment are applied and any excess fluid from the site is drained.

So here we go, hold on to your hats.

Life at one year.

2008-11-18T11:33:00.000-08:00

That is a strange title. Life at 1 year. After all I turned 48 last month. Yep - 48 years old last month. It is funny being 48. I find myself opening alot of conservations (especially with the pretty ones of the opposite sex) with, "Would I be the Creepy Old Guy if I said...?" I really don't ever want to be the creepy old guy. But I really am ready to celebrate life at one year. What a year it has been.

So much has happened in the past year and I can hardly believe how fast it has gone by. It has just flown by. A year ago today, I was afraid of tomorrow. Literally, very afraid. Not knowing if I was going to live. Now I cannot wait for tomorrow. Some nights I cannot sleep as to the excitement of what tomorrow brings. A year ago, I couldn't sleep because I could not breath. I had sleep apnea so bad, I never knew if I would wake up, if I did not go to be with my trusty CPAP. The CPAP is not a very soft and comfortable bed mate. I wonder if other 48 year olds look forward to tomorrow as much as I do? I really wonder.

I walked 4 miles in one hour this morning. A year ago, I could not walk 1/4 of a mile in two hours. It just hurt too damn much. Hurt my back and knees. Hurt to walk. Hell, it hurt to get out of bed in the morning, much less walk. A year ago, I was truly fearful if I forgot to take my blood pressure medication. With uncorrected high blood pressure of 170/140, a stroke was just seconds away. I was always fearful when I did not take my meds. That was a year ago. In fact, my last blood pressure pill was a year ago today. My blood pressure last week was 112/75. Life at 1 year seems pretty darn good.

Now it you are easily embarrassed, don't ready the next paragraph. Especially if you are one of my kids. Sex at one year is great(No Brooke and Jason, Mom and Dad don't ever have sex anymore, hehehe). Not that sex a year ago wasn't great, because it was. But a year ago, at 450 pounds, I probably wasn't very good at it. Sorry, but I am being truthful here. I couldn't move. My body was covered in fat. I went to bed every night with my CPAP. It just wasn't that enjoyable for myself or I would bet, SWMBO either. Trust me, sex at 1 year is awesome. There are some benefits that go with 200 pounds of weight loss. Endurance, recovery are all better. Google Dr. Oz, Oprah, size and weight loss, and see what is said. It is an eye opener, but for me, well!!!!!

So, life at one year is just amazing. I have great new friends, happy and surprised old friends. I am healthier than I was at my last birthday, and have everything to look forward too. I really do look forward to tomorrow. It is only getting better, day by day, I cannot wait for the next one.

200 Pounds of Fat

2008-09-22T07:37:00.000-07:00

This last Friday I celebrated my 10 month "Surgiversary". I am quickly approaching 200 pounds lost from my highest weight. 200 Pounds. Think about that. My knees and back supported two hundred pounds more just 10 months ago. I can't even lift 200 pounds today, and my body supported that much extra weight ever second of every day of the year. I feel really good. Lets look at the stats;

200 Pounds of weight equals 6 shirt sizes. (Was 5X now a L/XL)

200 Pounds of fat equals a 22 inch smaller waist (Really almost 24 inches - Was 62 and now a 38/40)

200 Pounds devided by 40 equals an extra 5. (For those of you that know me well - know what that means hehehe)

200 Pounds of fat equals more confidence, more confidence equals more sales, which equals a happier boss, which equals more money.

As per my buddy Jerry - 200 pounds of fat gone, now means that I am not only hot, but also Gay Hot - I am really cool with that. I like being "Hot" again. It has been a really long time.
This really is an incredible journey and I cannot believe that there are people that still talk down this procedure and the health benefits that go along with it. Sure there are risks, sure some have problems. But, the reality is 75-80% of us have zero issues with this procedure. the other 15-20% have some minor problems. I feel horrible for the other 5%, who have issues and problems with the surgery ranging from minor to very major. I have empathy and concern and have counseled several. But the harsh reality is that this is a successful procedure (combined with our very hard work) that has saved the lives of hundreds of thousands of people and more than 50% of us keep the weight off long term. Much better odds that the 5% long term success and the results not typical Jenny Craig crowd.

The medical facts for me are undeniable.

200 pounds of fat gone equals no more high blood pressure (170/140 uncorrected pre-op and 100/70 post op.

200 pounds of fat gone equals no more sleep apnea and no more effin CPAP.

200 Pounds of fat devided by 40 equals 5. Oh Crap - I said that one earlier. I love that one (and so does SWMBO) LOL

Everyone ignore my last sentence especially if you are under 18!

Really - don't read that sentence.

I implore you to ignore that sentence!

Ok - 200 pounds of fat means back pain and knee pain all but gone!
To those that are contemplating this surgery - do your homework, find a great surgeon, change your life, move and "Dare to Live".

Be Well! It really is "All Good"!

Mar 28, 2008 - Frightened

2008-03-28T06:42:00.000-07:00

It frightens me that I may forget the way I was.

Here I am 4 months and 10 days post-op. Everything is bright and new. SWMBO has had her surgery and is healing wonderfully. She is tolerating all her soft mushy foods. I have had very few issues in my healing process. I am working out, getting smaller in physical size, but stronger everyday. Shopping for clothing that fits is a blast. Goodwill is my friend. Getting rid of the Big Guy clothing is even more rewarding.

But, I am frightened that I may loose touch with these feelings.

It is already difficult for me to remember that way I was just four months ago. I am glad that I have blogged and kept a photo record of the journey. I don't see that man in the mirror any longer. The round face, the squinky eyes. Yes, I said squinky. No grief please, I know its not a word....yet. But, I don't see that guy any more. Just like I don't remember Jim Ranes revision 1992. I bring that up, because today I am just 10 pounds away from being that man again. I will be the same weight I was in very early 1992. I was 31 years old then and was about to cross into 300 pound territory, and did not even realize it. It was the beginning of, as a close friend of mine has called it, "The Downward Spiral".

Please Lord, don't let me forget this.

That spiral for me wasn't one of pain and suffering, at least until recently, but more one of apathy and excess. Apathy in the way I took care of myself and excess in the foods that I consumed. How can we, as educated, adult people, not see what we are doing to ourselves with food. As a Businessman, with many clients, it has become very painfully obvious lately about the size of portions that we, as Americans, eat on an all to often routine basis. It is crazy, just crazy. A wise man has said that God's only mistake, (I believe He has made none) is making our stomachs the size that He did. We could easily survive with stomachs 1/2 or 1/3 the normal size. I know I survive with a pouch the size of a walnut. We as a nation are killing ourselves with food.

I will not forget this!

Very well, off the pulpit. I just want to thank all of you, the readers of this blog for your support and prayers. It is still an amazing and crazy ride. Intoxicating to say the least. I am 8 pounds away from 1992. Oh, I am so glad to be 32 again!

Current Stats

Current Weight - 308 pounds (130 pounds gone) Goal 200 Pounds
Waist 46 inches ( 16 inches gone forever) Goal 38 inches
Shirt Size - Comfortable Regular Store 2X (Big Mans 5X just 4 months ago) Goal L/XL

Yep - I love this life and I won't forget! (Thanks Shrinkydink)

Mar 19, 2008 - I am Living Again.

2008-03-19T08:02:00.000-07:00

Today is a Big Day for me.

I don't normally chart my weight loss until Monday morning. However, I did chart it today. I have lost 125 pounds as of this morning. Four months ago this morning, I was being wheeled into an operating room for the very first time in my life. I did not expect exhileration, I did not expect to be intoxicated by life, I did not expect to make, what I consider to be really, really great new friends.

I just wanted to have a chance at living again.

I am pretty sure, no, I know for a fact, I received all of the above. I am routinely exhilerated at the results that GBS has brought me. Watching, actually seeing my fat melt away. I continue to live in an intoxicated state, intoxicated by the comments, compliments, support, results - you name it. Can life really continue to get better than it is right now still weighing 313 pounds? That is difficult to comprehend. Friends. Let me say, that I have made a group of new friends, that have shared similar experiences - that have become real friends. People that I know I could go to with GBS issues, or personal issues. People that look out for me and lovingly warn me when I say something stupid, which can be often.

And I know that I am living again.

This week I was lucky and happened to see the first Robin fly into the neighborhood. Several hours later there were 20 or so in my yard. The sights and sounds of spring are commencing in my neighborhood. I always look forward to that. The first Robin. The rebirth of the new year. The new progression of seasons. This year, the sights and sound of spring have commenced in my life. The rebirth of a vibrant, healthy man. A new progression in life.

Yep, I am living again.

March 12, 2008 - Plugging Along

2008-03-12T12:55:00.000-07:00

As I myself have experienced this, I am sure this is easier for me that it is for Sandy. The pain at the incision site has remained pretty constant. The blasts of Loritab cut it, make a minor dent, but don't really dull the consistency. Whenever she moves, I can see the pain in her face. However, she is a trooper, and is working through it all.

From a treatment point of view, she is still receiving Loritab Elixir for pain ever 4 hours, with Morphine supplements as necessary. She has taken no morphine since last evening. Bladder evacuations are great. Liquids still at 1 ounce per hour. They have had to introduce Potassium and her Potassium is slightly low. Heparin and Pepcid twice per day. Sandy is walking great and really cannot wait to get home and Dr White thinks it could be Thursday but probably Friday.

I will keep blogging as we go through this again. Thanks for following.

Mar 11, 2008 - Apprehension to Joy

2008-03-11T10:08:00.000-07:00

I cannot say that yesterday was easy. I believe it was harder for me then when I had my surgery. Especially with the amount of research that I now have done pertaining to GBS, I believe for Sandy's surgery, I would have liked to remain ignorantly blissful!. She left the pre-op prep room about 2:00 pm. Knowing that a skilled GBS surgeon can do the Lap RNY in about 45 min to an hour, when the clock passed 3:30 pm, I knew there were issues. I was in a good IM with my buddy Gwennie the Pooh when I looked at my watch again and it said 4:00 pm. What was left of my fingernails quickly was removed, when I saw our Surgeon, Dr. Thomas White walking toward me with a smile.

Sandy was out of surgery and she did great. He was very happy with the outcome, but, and there it is, the big but, he had to go in and do the surgery open. The adhesions were too bad from the previous surgeries in the abdominal region. But, other than that, all was well. Relief immediately ensued.

At abot 5:45 PM she was wheeled up to her room in 5E. Again, I need to say, these are some great nurses here. They got her checked in, hooked her up to the morphine PCA, oooohhh! Morphine - her BP monitor, her oxygen monitor and her IV. Sandy slept on and off for a few hours and was resting well. She has the fabulous OnQ Painbuster Installed, and pain management is well in order. About midnight, we got her up to walk and she took a lap around the 5E wing. All in all, she did really well.

Tomorrow, we expect the leak test, removal from the PCA, drinking 1 beautiful cool ounce of water per hour and introduction of the Loritab for pain control.

Thanks for following the blog and for your prayers for SWMBO and myself. We appreciate all of you.

Mar 9, 2008 - Excited and Apprehensive

2008-03-09T19:09:00.001-07:00

I know I should not be apprehensive, as I have gone through this myself. SWMBO is having her surgery in 24 hours. She was approved in 6 days, had her Surgeons appointment last Tuesday and is having Surgery just six short days later. I am not fearful, nothing like that. I have complete faith in my God, complete faith in our Surgeon, but as any loving husband should be, I still think I am a bit worried about the anesthesia and all that goes along with any surgery.

I am however, very excited. SWMBO and I get to really share this journey together. So, again it begins. Four hospital days, healing, and a new life. Buckle up, it is a wild one. I will blog throughout the week. Be Well.

Feb 24, 2008 Plateaus - Oh, the Beauty and Granduer!

2008-03-09T18:50:00.000-07:00

I looked up plateau in Wikipedia today. Wiki said Plateau has several meanings:

In geology or earth science, a plateau is an area of relative low relief (i.e., relatively flat) at an important altitude, usually attributed to tectonic uplift or by sediment accumulation. If the uplift was recent, the area may be very flat. If it is highly eroded - a dissected plateau - it may have sharp relief. Also used for submarine areas higher that the normal sea floor depth (oceanic plateau).
In physiology and human sexuality, plateau refers to the second stage (of four) of sexual arousal in the currently accepted Masters and Johnson model.
As a proper name, Plateau usually refers to the Belgian mathematician Joseph Plateau (1801-1883).
*A Thousand Plateaus is a 1980 book by Gilles Deleuze and Félix Guattari, the second part of Capitalism and Schizophrenia
Plateau (song) is a Meat Puppets song popularized by Nirvana.

Often when we read of plateaus, we read of its beauty, its grandeur. The majesty of that "imposing precipice and its surrounding geological glory. The incredible spires rising to the heights that overwhelm the senses.

John Wesley Powell wrote about the Markagunt Plateau in his Exploration of the Colorado River and its Canyons.

"On the north there is a pair of plateaus, twins in age, but very distinct in development, the Paunsagunt and Markagunt... The stupendous cliffs by which these plateaus are bounded are of indescribable grandeur and beauty... Some of the plateaus carry dead volcanoes on their backs that are towering mountains, and all of them are dissected by canyons that are gorges of profound depth. But every one of these plateaus has characteristics peculiar to itself and is worthy of its own chapter."

Lofty, beautiful and serene. Sounds so nice and wonderful. Let me give you a different definition of plateaus.

A plateau refers to an extended period of time during our weight loss efforts where there is no weight loss according to the scale AND no loss of inches according to the tape measure.

Let me say now and out loud. I hate plateaus. Plateaus Suck.

I have been on a plateau for the past 5 days. Have not lost a pound. Not an ounce. At least I have not gained an ounce. I have not increased my eating. Not increased drinking of any sugar drinks. Doing nothing different, but I am in a stall. Going nowhere real fast. As we used to say in the Navy - "Standing Fast". How really does one stand fast anyway? I never really understood that one. I am on a plateau and I hate it.

www.gastricbypassfamily.com talks about 2 different kinds of plateaus.

There are two types of plateaus that occur. The first plateau is the short plateau, lasting 2 weeks to 4 weeks. The short plateau is the kind that all active "dieters" run into throughout their weight loss efforts. It is not necessary to make adjustments for this type of plateau, because your body is simply re-adjusting to your new weight. Over time (2-4 weeks) you will naturally start losing weight again, as long as you continue your healthy diet and exercise program. Patience is all you need to get past a short plateau.
The second type of plateau is the long-term plateau, which lasts for longer than 4 weeks. If you go for more than 4 weeks without losing weight, AND you are continually following a nutritious diet and exercise program (in short, you are doing everything perfectly), then you need to make some changes. A plateau lasting for longer than 4 weeks is because you are no longer asking your body to go beyond its point of comfort. Let me explain this further: When you first start a new way of eating and a new exercise program, everything is a total shock to your body. All of a sudden you are filling the body with good healthy food full of nutrients, and you are pushing your body so that it responds to physical activity. You burn a high number of calories because it requires a ton of effort just to do simple exercise. Over time, you adjust and become more efficient at exercise, and it no longer requires the same amount of calories that it once did. If you do not change your activity, and continue to eat the same amount of food, you will eventually stop losing weight. The same principle applies to food. If you cut your calories down to 1500 per day, and lost 15 pounds this way, your new weight may use that 1500 calories for maintenance now, rather than weight loss. It's as simple as calories in = calories out.

I spoke with my program coordinator and believe I may even have a different issue going on. SWMBO has been on me lately to eat MORE. (She is real smart by the way) (oh, cute too) More you say. Yes, I said more. I am working out three to four times per week. Burning 300-400 calories per workout. I believe my body thinks I am starving and going into some type of protection. Slowing down my metabolism and protecting me. Roxi (GBS Program Coordinator) wants me to increase my calories to 1100-1200 per day. This is going to be hard and I am struggling to get 800 in me every day right now. But increase I will. 1100-1200 calories per day, here we come(still not cookies, shame on you). Good, healthy lean protein, low carb calories. So I will continue to keep you informed as the pounds continue to shed, post plateau, of course.

By the way, did I mention that although beautiful, plateaus blow chunks!

Current Status - 97 days post-op. 108 pounds lost forever. Down 3 Shirt Sizes. Down 14 inches in my pants, ummm, errr waist. Thanks Toony!.

Feb 19, 2008 - I can live with that.

2008-03-09T18:43:00.000-07:00

Face Progression - What a difference 4 months makes.

As I ponder the last year and all the exciting changes that I have experienced, I cannot help but wonder what would have happened to me in the future, if I had not taken the drastic step of Gastric Bypass Surgery. Think about it. This is freaking drastic. I have a pouch, the size of a walnut, that will forever be the receiver of the food that gets delivered to my maw. Let me repeat, the size of a walnut. If I had not had this plumbing change, I would still be eating a 16 ounce steak, a large baked potato, don't forget the salad with cheese, maybe add 2 or 3 glasses of red wine, holy crap, where is my dessert - hmmmm - I'll have the Creme Brulee, and please bring an extra spoon.

It was no wonder I needed a tentmaker to make my clothes and I really don't think I could live with that.

That meal would have cost somewhere around $45.00. Now I eat about 1/4 cup of food per sitting. Yesterday my wife and I went to L&L Hawaiian Barbecue. We ordered the small Teriyaki Chicken Meal. It had the chicken, a scoop of rice and a scoop of macaroni salad. $4.81 and we took home leftover chicken and we were both stuffed. Assuming three nights out per week, this life change will save me $120.00 per week, $3,840.00 per year and assuming I am blessed to live another 40 or so years, $152,160.00 over that 40 years.

I can live with that!

Four months ago, I could not walk 1/4 of a mile without extreme pain. It hurt to sit in my chair at work. It hurt to get out of bed. Hell, it hurt to get in bed. I would walk one flight of stairs, and could not talk for 10 minutes, trying to recover my breathing to normal. I had high blood pressure, I had been talking blood pressure medications for 15 years. I had trouble tying my shoes, putting on my socks. I was tired all the time. had not been to the gym in years. I couldn't golf anymore. I couldn't play softball. I really couldn't even play house! Basically, my life physically, pretty much sucked.

I am sure that I couldn't have lived like that,well, not much longer anyways.

Today the only thing that hurts is my coxxix. I just like saying that word. Coxxix. Seems as I lose my ASS, I have less padding, and that oh so precious butt padding put less pressure on my tail bone. It is getting better, but that is all thats is really bothering me. I am working out 4-5 times per week. This week Monday, 45 minutes on the treadmill averaging 3 mph. Worked upper body on resistance weights, then I went to the batting cages and hit softballs for 30 minutes. No pain after workout or the next day, except for the coxxix. Then today (Tuesday) another 35 minutes on the treadmill averaging 3 mph and 30 minutes on the resistance weights working the lower body. Lucky me, my coxxix does not hurt today. Oh, and I have not taken any Blood Pressure medications since the day before the surgery and my BP is normal. How cool is that?

I know I can live with this!

Even though I have never thought myself a depressed personality type, I wonder now if I wasn't really depressed and just did not acknowledge it. I think back 4 months ago, and I really did not like visiting my customers. People who did not know me, automatically thought I was lazy and did not work hard. How could I get that fat, and be a good worker. I had to work extra hard to prove that I was not lazy, yet I was too tired and hurting so much, there is no way I could do my job with the utmost excellence. I hated getting out of bed in the morning. I was exhausted by 3:00 PM and of course needed a candy bar to get me through the afternoon.

I could have lived with that, but not for very long!

I love going to work now. I love going and seeing my customers. I have lots of energy. I know they are not judging me because of my size. I am shrinking right before them in width and depth, but growing in stature as I better serve them and meet their needs. Many have not even recognized me with the changes, but all are very happy for me. I am even closing more deals now, more confidence, better looking, stronger presence.

I can definitely live with this!

So where am I you ask. I will tell you. I am in a very good place. I am healthy, eating right, happy and content in my skin. I am in the gym. I am in the batting cage. I like myself, I am ready for whatever comes at me. I love getting up in the morning. I am loving playing house again and everything is really, really good!

I am in a really good place, except for my coxxix, but, I know, I can live with that!

Feb 8, 2008 - The Century Club

2008-03-09T18:34:00.000-07:00

Everything is still happening so fast. First I cannot believe that I am 10 days away from being exactly 3 months post op. Secondly, and more importantly, I cannot believe that I have lost 100 pounds. That is correct, as of this morning, I am down 100 pounds from my 10 day pre-op weight. 100 pounds in 89 days. Over 1 pound per day.

When I tell people that, the first question that I am asked is "Is that healthy?"

The answer is yes, as long as I continue to follow my Surgeons directions. First, we WLS patients need to take our vitamins. Who would have thought that life would come full circle for us. When I was a child, I remember my Mom nagging me daily, "did you take your vitamins?" Try, they were the yummy Flintstone vitamins, but here I am, 40 years later, Mom has been replaced by SWMBO (She who must be obeyed), but the question is still the same. "Did you take your vitamins?" Now the vitamin type and ingredients is also very important. We as GBS patients, obviously have a restrictive component to our "Pouch" but as important, we have a malabsorbative component, which prevents us from absorbing calcium and many B complex vitamins. The vitamins that I take has a very high concentration of Vitamin B12, helping to prevent the B-Complex deficiency and I also take extra supplements of calcium. All my blood work is normal and I am currently having it checked monthly.

The last month has been rather emotional. It started with an old pair of Levi's. How can a pair of levi's cause an emotional event? It is easy, they fit. That's it, they just fit. I had not been able to wear those, oh so perfect, soft denim jeans for over 5 years. The ones that are frayed on the bottom at the back of the leg, from wearing them with my flip flops. You know, those jeans. They were 10 inches smaller that the pants that I had been wearing pre-op. I put them on about a 2 or 3 weeks ago, and they fit. Those of you that don't have weight problems, are just not going to understand this, but many of you are reading this blog, because you have had GBS or are contemplating it. We call these wow moments. There will be many wow moments for those of us that are Morbidly Obese or Super Morbidly Obese. Here are some Wow's I have already accomplished and some I am still waiting for.

Easily tying my shoes
Shopping someplace else but the fat guy store ( politically correctly called "The Big and Tall Store")
Not asking for an extension belt from the flight attendant ( I now have a collection for sale.)
Fitting in the Airplane Lavatory
Walking a mile without pain

There are many many more that I am looking forward to.

One thing I have noticed, is the negative perception that many seem to have about the procedure. Particularly Oprah Winfrey and others in positions like her. Many think that this surgery is the "Easy way out" for an obese person. This surgery is by no means "The Easy Way out!" She seems to have a much greater respect for those that lose weight, by working out, or dieting (what she calls, normally) and much less respect for those of us that have had the GBS. Just like 'The Dieters", we still count calories, exercise 4-5 times per week, limit portions, eat healthy, we as GBS patients not have a 50% success level at losing and keeping the weight off. Where those who do not have GBS only have a 5% success rate. I will never be able to sit down and eat a 16 ounce steak again, I can't, it is impossible. I can no longer do things, food wise that I have enjoyed for over 40 years. This is hard, and no one, not even you Oprah, have a clue about how difficult it is, unless you have had the procedure.

It is not the easy way out and it is not meant to be!

So here I am. 100 pounds less than I was 3 months ago. Learning to shop at the Goodwill, learning to eat good and Loving this life. That is a quote from my new friend Shereeks and brought to life by my buddy Gwen in the UK. This will not change.

I really love this life!

Jan 6, 2008 - Consternation

2008-03-09T18:23:00.000-07:00

What a wild ride. Amazing wild ride. Starting with the most asked question - I had my one month post op appointment with my Surgeon today (really 7 weeks) and I am down 66 pounds. Who would have thunk it. 66 pounds. I am feeling great, exercising at least 3 times per week. Lost 2 shirt sizes and 8 inches in my waist. It is just the beginning of the journey, yet it feels as if it is happening so fast. And it is.

Now for all the positives of the Gastric Bypass there are some real and difficult potential side effects. So kids, gather around, today we are going to learn about the side effects of Gastric Bypass Surgery and the one that seems to be affecting me the most.

According to http://www.bariatricsurgerypittsburgh.com/surgery/side_effects.html Gastric Bypass Surgery can have the following side effects.

As a regular guy, I am pretty sure the pregnancy side effect will not bite me. But, I as a GBS patient have to be on the lookout for the others.

Nausea and Vomiting

I have experience the nausea and vomiting twice, so far. Both times at business lunches, of which, I am sure my business associates very much appreciated. The first was with this beautiful fresh, raw Ahi tuna. 5 pieces, $13.50. I got one piece in me, one piece and was waiting as I usually do to see if my tool would agree with my taste buds as to how great this fine piece of fish tasted. It didn't. I had pain, and I knew, rather instinctively, that this was not going to be a great experience. So I excused myself, wandered off to the mens room and prepared for the worst. I was however, mildly surprised. As I leaned over the loo, ensuring my tie was out of range, I felt the beginnings, opened m mouth, and had a very minor spew. Not the gut wrenching, body contorting, pulling my two guys down there up into my body type of vomit, but just a spew. Oops, there was one more. Spew. All done. Not what I had expected. The act was not horrible. But it makes sense. I now have a 60 cc pouch, not a 1500 cc stomach. When something goes wrong in the 1500 cc version, muscles twist, guts churn, balls flee in terror, innards regret and it is horrible. Now just spew. Not so bad.

Second nausea, grilled cheese sandwich. 2 bites. Not good feeling. Spew. That was it. Spew.

Dehydration

Drink your freaking water. I have not been dehydrated yet. My doctor says 64 ounces of fluid per day. For those of my readers in the UK and Norway (and I know you are out there) - that is also 64 fluid ounces. See how good my metric conversions are. I have been having trouble getting all 64 in me. As we have to sip, sip, sip, 64 ounces is a lot of water. I have been getting between 40 and 64 and have not had any dehydration problems.

Food Intolerance

I have had no manifestation yet, of food intolerances. But, (theres the big but) I have followed very closely my Doctors recommendations for food. I have not really stepped out of the box. I have read that approximately 1% of us will develop lactose intolerance. Foods that are dry (roast beef, turkey, other meats), sticky (peanut butter), gummy (fresh bread), or stringy (chicken, celery, fibrous fruit, and vegetables) seem to present the biggest problems for most GBS patients. Please God - don't make me intolerant to peanut butter!

Dumping Syndrome

This has yet to happen to me and this one is really scary, yet I have this really strange desire to eat something that may cause me to dump, in a controlled environment so I know what to expect out of a controlled environment. AM I STUPID, OR WHAT! For those of you that don't know, this is what dumping is:

A condition known as “dumping syndrome” can occur as the result of rapid emptying (“dumping”) of stomach contents into the small intestine. This is triggered when too much sugar or very greasy (fried) foods are consumed.

Although it is not considered a serious risk to health, the symptoms of dumping syndrome can be extremely unpleasant. They include nausea, weakness, sweating, faintness, tiredness, diarrhea, rapid heart rate, and stomach cramping after eating. GBS patients usually say the symptoms make them feel “like I want to lie down and die for a half hour.”

Why would I want to experience this?

Changed Bowel Habits

Crap! This one really bites. Let me tell you, pre-op I was one regular guy. If you know what I mean. This side effect has really been the one that kicks my butt, literally. Constipation, that little secret that keeps us BOUND together. In my best text language, OMG! So for the past few weeks I have been working on the formula that works for me. My Doctor offered me the laxative, nooooooo, not the L word. I politely declined and have proceeded to work this one out. I started with an over the counter stool softener. Added a couple of tablespoons of ground flax seed to my protein shakes and every other day and drinking a pro-biotic drink. It is better, much better now, but still not perfect. There is also psyllium husks, but be careful, if you don't drink enough with those, they will just bind you more. On a good/bad scale, that would be very bad.

Pregnancy

As quoted from Kindergarten Cop - "Boys have penis's and girls have vagina's". I am a boy. Enough said.

Cold Intolerance

Less fat = less insulation. Less insulation = I am freezing my butt off. Living in Nebraska now, in the winter, My guys routinely are hibernating, looking for warmers locations. So I do not know if its Nebraska, or GBS, but I am freezing my butt off.

Transient Hair Thinning

About half of women who have undergone GBS notice the thinning of their hair. Sorry girls. It seems to occur between 2 and 10 months after surgery. Make sure you are taking your vitamins and ensure you are getting your protein. I have also read that zinc and biotin supplements help - but check with your Doctor as I am not one, but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Caution with Upper Endoscopy

I am going to quote directly from the website for this.

"After gastric bypass surgery, the anatomy of the GI tract changes permanently. Access to the disconnected stomach (gastric remnant) and duodenum may be required in the future for tests like EGD or ERCP to diagnose rare problems such as ulcers, bleeding, cancer, or bile duct problems.

Because access to the disconnected portion of the GI tract is very difficult with the current technology, laparoscopic surgery may be needed to assess this part of the GI tract."

Along with this comes the subject of Strictures. Before my surgery, I did not see al lot written about strictures, but it seems as if many of my GBS brothers and sisters have had strictures. This, as I understand it is a closing of the anastomoses (the hole). It can be easily treated but needs to be watched for. Treatment requires and endoscope and the expansion of the stricture, and it seems that those that have one, often end up having several.

So, here I am, seven weeks post-op. I am standing taller, walking faster, loving more (woohoo) and feel great. Even with the few side effects that I have experienced, I would have still had this surgery performed. I know the surgery, along with my hard work and following of directions, is going to help me to live a long and healthy life.

Dec 19, 2007 - The Lesser Man

2008-03-09T18:16:00.000-07:00

What an amazing four weeks. It has gone so fast. Every day I am becoming a lesser man. I know that doesn't sound right. Lesser in size, and mass. Not in mind and spirit. I made SWMBO (She who must be obeyed) laugh a couple of days ago when I put a pair of shorts on and took 3 steps and they fell off. Puddled around my ankles. I am down 2 shirt sizes and 4 inches in my trousers. Segway - Wicked witch of the west, I'm melting, I'm melting. Segway - back to topic. Fifty pounds gone, forever. Never to return. Ahhhhh - deep sigh of relief.

I did have my first vomiting experience yesterday. One thing I have found out, is when my tool doesn't like something, I get immediate feedback. For those of you that are continuing on to have this procedure, remember this. Every time you try a food that you have not had since the surgery, go slow, it is a brand new experience for your tool, for that new pouch of yours. The feedback for me is immediate and swift. I was out for a business lunch. I am very open about my surgery, so my lunch mate knew about it. I had ordered a sushi grade ahi tuna sashimi style with a remoulade - yes its raw, get over yourselves. The sauce was sweet - bad juju. I took three very small bites, chewed very completely and waited for the results. Within a minute or so, I knew this was not going to be pleasant. The tuna was fresh and excellent, pre-op I would have loved the sauce. I excused myself and proceeded to the loo. (That was for my friend five-wises). Felt the internal bubbling and proceeded to spew.

Now this was not as bad as I expected. There was no gut wrenching twisting and turning of a large sick stomach. I just kind of opened my mouth and out it came. Ok. Not horrible. One spew later and I was done. I felt better, tool feedback controlled and done. $13.50 wasted, there were 4 pieces on the plate still and one chewed piece in the jon. Expensive lesson. I should have ordered the soup. Now I am however, kind of bummed. Pre-op I adored sushi and sashimi. I hope this is not my future for the raw fish. In a couple of months I will try again, but for now, I will be passing on the raw.

Another thing that I noticed in the past week, is how uncomfortable everyone, except SWMBO, is around me at meal time. Everyone wants to apologize for consuming huge mounds of food in front of me. I have to ensure them that it is ok, eat away. It does not bother me. Until recently, I never really noticed how much we as an American society eat. I was speaking with a loved one about the size of portions in Europe. She had stated that her sister or someone had gone and the portions were very slight. I explained to her, that it was the norm in Europe. Only in our American excess, do we pile enough food on one plate to feed three people. I really see that now and it bothers me that I could not control myself in the past to consume a proper portion.

Life continues to be a new amazing adventure. 4 weeks out and I am doing great. I feel great, am exercising 2-3 times per week. Pain in my back is gone, I am sleeping well and truly look forward to my future as the lesser man.

Dec 11, 2007 - Pump Me Up

2008-03-09T18:10:00.000-07:00

When I was in high school, college and the Navy, I spent a lot of time in the gym. Exercising, running and lifting weights. Football required strength, conditioning, endurance and more strength. I spent hours in the weight room with Paul, Rich and the rest of my O-Line buds. We would yell at each other, grunt, sweat and pound out hours and thousands of pounds of reps on the bench press, the power driver, curls, squats and more leg work. Obviously, looking at myself, I have spent very little time in the gym over the last 10-15 years.

"I'm Hans and I'm Franz"

I have returned to the sweaty environs of the local health club as of last Wednesday. It has been a very emotional week for me. You see, I love the gym. I loved working out, the feeling in my muscles as they grow due to the weight being lifted over and over. I don't quite understand why I stopped doing this in the past, but I did and the results are what they are. Now as I just had major Gastric Bypass Surgery, I have to be very careful as to what I do in the beginning, but it is a beginning and bring on the endorphins.

"and we are here"

My first day in the gym was spent on the treadmill. Roxy (Dr Whites Plan Administrator) said I should be doing the 100 meter mosey. So that is what I did. 30 minutes on the tread mill set at 2.6 mph. I elevated my heart rate to 143 and maintained it there for 30 minutes. I had trouble figuring out how to stop this machine and figure I was doomed for life to be attached to this moving tread, but figure it out and stepped off. Dizzy. Light headed, I stumbled to the towels and returned to my senses. I am completely overwhelmed. 25 days ago I could not walk 1/4 of a mile without having to sit down, without having extreme pain in my back. The mall was a painful experience. I am actually emotional. I just walked 1.2 miles in 30 minutes. I didn't have to stop, I am not in pain. What in the name of God is happening to me. So much has changed in the last 25 days.

"to pump you up."

Two days later I went back to the wellness center and had my fitness assessment. Can a 392 pound man really have an assessment of his fitness. Let's be real here. Now if we were to call it a lack of fitness assessment, that would probably be more correct. So I got weighed, bmi'd blood pressured (still no more bp meds) and Ross ran me through all the machines in the center. Let me tell you about this wellness center. It is really quite nice. It is ran by the Hospital Parent group that did my surgery. It is not a meat market. I see no steroid monsters, in fact the average age here is probably the mid to late forties - just like me. People that want to better themselves and their health. It is perfect. They have great equipment and if I keel over due to the exercise, I am about 200 meters from the ER. I really like it here.

"Bring on the endorphins"

I again went to the gym last night, exactly 21 days post-op. Did my 32 minutes on the treadmill. This time I did 10 minutes at 2.6 mph, 10 minutes at 3.0 mph and returned to 2.6 mph for the last 10 minutes. Kept my heart rate from 143 to 156 for the complete 30 minutes. I then did a round on the arm and chest machines. Light, light weights, 2 sets of 15 and 12 reps. Holy crap, I remember this feeling. My biceps and triceps pumped right up. My chest muscles tightened. I love this stuff. No exercise performed to failure. Maintained my form. High reps with low weight, toning exercises. Nothing yet for the midsection of my torso. Those exercises are still a few months away. This is going to be great. I will have "guns" again. I finished my workout again with no real pain and a wonderful endorphin rush. I have lost 48 pounds and feel great.

Dec 4, 2007 - Melting

2008-03-09T18:02:00.000-07:00

Today I am 15 days post op. I don't want to make it sound easier than it is, for some folks it is very difficult. Difficult to make the transition to less food, pain from the surgery, difficulty moving around. It just has not been that way for me. I don't know if I have a high pain tolerance, or I am a quick healer, or what ever - I don't know, but it just hasn't been that difficult so far. Maybe I am just too stupid to realize that it is difficult, but it hasn't been. Now for the big announcement.

42 pounds.

Thats right, from 10 days prior to the surgery till day 15 post op, I have shed 42 pounds. 2 large bags of dog food. One large turkey + 3 chickens. Three 14 pound bowling balls. Gone, disappeared. This is just strange. I am a bowler and I have lost my balls. I eat 4 to 5 times per day, I am full, not starving, and loosing almost 2 pounds per day. Clothes that did not fit, now fit. Many are getting too big. My watch is spinning on my wrist and my wedding ring is spinning on my finger. I have lost 10 percent of my starting weight in the first 25 days. I am waiting for the crashing stop, the inevitable stall and I am sure the intoxication will subside when the stall occurs, but right now I am living not so large in it.

Lets now talk about the difficulties of the first two weeks. I wrote earlier about Days 1-4. After that, my big issue was the gas pains. Not gas from the what I was consuming, but what had been pumped into me for the surgery. That large gas bubble provided some intense pain through day 10 or so after the surgery. If I laid down, it hurt, if I sat too long it hurt. My left shoulder hurt. I could feel the bubbles moving around in my chest cavity. One day I thought I was having a heart attack but it was just the gas. Pain wise, there has not been a whole lot of it. The lap sites were pain free by day 5. The pain from the surgery was only evident when I tried to sleep.

I normally sleep on my side or stomach and when I tried that in the first 10 days, I felt pain in my insides. After day 10 I was able to sleep on my side or my stomach with very little or no pain whatsoever. In fact, I have not taken any pain meds since about Day 7 post op. Sleeping the first seven days home was hard. I just had trouble falling asleep at night. I do not know why, I just did. I took some Ambien for a couple of nights after I stopped the pain meds, but since about day 10, I have fallen asleep much like I did prior to the surgery. Now sleeping on the other hand has been a bit strange. I have been have just downright strange dreams. Not that most dreams are not usually strange, but these have been most unusually strange. I have heard others have experienced this and it will go away.

Did I mention I have lost 42 pounds.

If you have been following this blog, you will remember I made quite a to-do about taking a crap. Bowel movements. In the first week, when I still had alot of gas, the bowel movements continued to be an experience. They are basically, sorry mom, crap explosions with lots of crap shrapnel. Wifey is definitely not happy and after 7 days of this, I could not longer get out of cleaning up by telling Sandy I hurt to bend over a clean the toilet. Thank God that by day ten, the bowel were back to normal, except for the frequency. Taking in much less food has decreased the frequency of the venerable BM.

By the way, I have lost 42 pounds.

One thing that has been very difficult has been watching television. Not the sitting, or the inane crap that most network television shows consist of, but the food commercial. One half hour show had 9 or 10 restaurant commercials, and I found that just mentally difficult. The marketers make all that food look so good. I have just taken to looking away when those temptations are there.

All in all, it has been an amazing two weeks. I am back at work, I feel great and feel incredible positive about the future. I plan on sharing it all with you so come back as I add to this saga. Be well, and if I didn't mention it already, I have lost 42 pounds. Absolutely Awesome.

Nov 28, 2007 - I Get to Chew!

2008-03-09T17:57:00.000-07:00

I was going to put off writing today, but after this morning experience, I have decided to post. As a morbidly obese person, I have never really much thought about chewing. Hell, as a 210 pound football playing stud I never much thought about chewing. Open mouth, bend elbow, insert food using food delivery vehicle, grind, mash, and swallow.

Wikipedia defines chewing as:

Mastication or chewing is the process by which food is mashed and crushed by teeth. It is the first step of digestion and it increases the surface area of foods to allow more efficient break down by enzymes. During the mastication process, the food is positioned between the teeth for grinding by the cheek and tongue. As chewing continues, the food is made softer and warmer, and the enzymes in saliva begin to break down carbohydrates in the food. After chewing, the food (now called a bolus) is swallowed. It enters the esophagus and continues on to the stomach, where the next step of digestion occurs.

Cattle and some other animals, called ruminants, chew food more than once to extract more nutrients. After the first round of chewing, this food is called cud.

Now first and foremost, I think chewing sounds much more pleasing that mastication. So for you science types, when I say chewing, you can substitute mastication. Last night I paid attention to chewing, thought about chewing. Downright enjoyed chewing. I have been on a high protein, liquid diet for 18 days, and yesterday I was released to chew. Notice I did not say, "Get real food". Did not mention purees. I GET TO CHEW! I love to chew.

My first meal was a soft scrambled egg and a piece of string cheese. A true masterpiece in the culinary world. Huevos con queso. One egg and one minuscule piece of cheese, and I asked SWMBO (She who must be obeyed) for a doggy bag. One egg and I had leftovers. That is really funny. But I was satisfied, satiated, not overfull, but very pleasantly comfortable. From this day forward, I am gonna be one cheap date. Excuse me waiter, I would like a cup of soup, a 4 oz steak and a doggy bag please. For dessert? How about one curd of cottage cheese? That did it, I am stuffed.

I had huevos con queso again for breakfast today. 2 more meals and 2 high protein snacks left today. But whatever the outcome, I get to chew.

Bon appetit!

Nov. 27, 2007 - 1st Post-Op Doctor's Appointment

2008-03-09T17:48:00.000-07:00

Today has been a good day. A very good day. I took no pain meds last night, it has been 36 hours and I am pain free. I have been having trouble sleeping, or maybe it is better said, falling asleep. Then when I fall asleep, I am dreaming like crazy, weird dreams. Not violent, just weird and fragmented. I have been told the sleeping will return to normal and my droopy eyes say yeah, right!

Eating, or rather should I say drinking has also been pretty uneventful. I have been sticking to my protein drinks, thinned creamed soups, protein waters and vitamin waters, having no problems keeping them down. I even had some thinned cream of wheat which stayed down fine and was quite tasty. For my protein drinks I have been using a 1/2 & 1/2 mixture of Slimfast and whey protein power, skim milk, Shaklee LiqiLea multivitamin and crushed ice in the magic bullet. Tasty and healthy. I will have blood work on Thursday, so we will probably make some adjustments then.

Now for todays news. I went to see Dr White and Roxy. 11:15 AM and I step on the scale. 3 weeks ago I would have fought to avoid scales, now I cannot wait to get to it. I look down and read 410.8 I had to blink several times - 410.8. Holy Crap - 28.6 pounds lost in the last 18 days, never to return. I am amazed. 28.6 pounds. I cannot believe it and my feelings are all over the place. I feel kind of guilty. This procedure, according to many is painful and so difficult, and it has not been very painful for me. Difficult yes. I am not starving, not craving food, don't desire sweets and I can see the results so positively. I feel great and am only looking forward to the future.

28.6 pounds, I cannot believe it. I am amazed!

Thanksgiving Day 2007 - Freedom

2008-03-09T17:35:00.000-07:00

I slept till about 6 AM today. Have not had any pain meds since about 11 PM last night and still feel pretty good. Shannon relieved the Evil Tami, who really is not so evil, but I just like calling her that, at about 7 AM. Last shot of Heparin and Pepcid. It's Thanksgiving Day 2007 and I need my Doctor to come do the final inspection and release me from the assembly line.

Waiting.

About 10:30 Dr Dervall, the Internal Medicine man, came to check me out. My blood pressure is 113/69. I have not taken blood pressure meds since Sunday. Dr Dervall wants me to wait to see my PCP until next Thursday and determine what we are doing about the BP meds. Until then, I don't take them. We will see how the BP is next Thursday. Another set of vitals and need to see my surgeon. Shannon is keeping an eye on me, doing a great job, be HE is not as nearly easy on the eyes as Karen, Jennie, the Angelic Crystal, Polly Pureheart and the Evil Tami. Sorry Shannon. I am such a guy!

Waiting.

Speaking of Nurses - I need to say this. They work way to hard for not near enough money. These folks are amazing. They have so much responsibility. They were always comforting, supportive, loving, and caring. I could not have been better cared for. They laughed with me, helped me when I need help, pushed me when I needed pushing. Everyone should hug a nurse, right this second, if you are in the vicinity. I am pretty sure I love Nurses. Even you Shannon, but but not in an creepy way. If those of you contemplating this surgery are reading this, don't be a jerk to your Nurse. They will get to you and want to help you. I loved all of mine - even the Evil Tami.

Waiting.

Dr. White's partner showed up around 1 PM or so and I am free. Well not completely. Shannon gets my paperwork, disconnects me from the IV and now is prepping to pull my drain. Now I have to say, this freaked me out. He pulls the dressing off, which shows signs of drainage, cuts a couple of small stitches and tells me to take a deep breath and blow out slowly. Now the last time I heard these words, there was an attractive blond nurse pulling about 12 inches of poly tubing out of my hoo-hoo. Definitely not a positive memory and hearing these words again just caused a minor flutter in my chest and an uncontrollable shrinking of my manhood. Maybe its the gas. I take the deep breath and start to blow, when I feel what might be the strangest feeling I have ever felt. I am sure it only lasted a second or two, but I will remember this forever. This rubber tube is being pulled out of my body and I can feel it on the inside, rubbing on organs and my innards. It was just weird.

Shannon cleans and tapes me up, I sign my release and Shannon calls me in a pain prescription and the Lovely Sandy went down to the car to meet me outside. I wish all the Nurses my Best, and Karen gingerly walks me to the front door, and I get to smell fresh air for the first time in 4 days. What an experience, simply amazing.

Thus ends the saga of my Laproscopic Roux-en-y Gastric Bypass Surgery. Now the real work begins. Watching what I eat, how I eat, the quantity of what I eat. I will continue to chronicle this journey. I will provide weekly updates for a while and updates whenever I have a Doctors visit. I hope my graphic explanation of what occurred this week, being tempered with humor, will draw you back to read. I am planning to share my complete journey with you, as I present my Life, Exhibited.

Nov 21, 2007 - Noon to Midnight - The Wind

2008-03-09T17:28:00.000-07:00

The angelic Crystal still has care for me. I have seen several Doctors today. Dr. White, my surgeon this AM, he says I am doing great and I should be out of the hospital tomorrow. An Internist that works with Dr. White on cases where a patients PCP does not work at a specific hospital. I cannot remember his name, but he also says I am doing great and should be out of jail by tomorrow.

Roxy and Beth came to visit the afternoon. Roxy is Dr. Whites Program Administrator Nurse and Beth is the program nutritionist. Roxy seemed especially ecstatic about how well I was doing and was especially humored by the fact that I was fussing around putting some styling gel in my hair. She made my appointment to see Dr. White on next Tuesday which will include my first post hospital check out and weigh in. Beth again wanted to talk about my post-op diet. Liquids only at 4 ounces per hour until my first visit with Dr. White. Then I will move to, hold on to your hats, Puree's. Puree's for the next 2 months. I am glad I bought that Vitamix several years ago. I could puree a 57 Chevy if I needed to.

I am walking alot now, sitting in the uncomfortable chair now and increasing the time between needed pain medications. Sandy said my eyes were real bright and beautiful today (blue and quite nice), and except for the real gas pain, I feel great. The gas pain here seems to be my real nemesis today. My lower torso region is soft and kinda squishy, but my mid torso is hard as a rock and still obviously filled with Gas from the surgery. My left shoulder hurts still right under the collarbone. The gas bubbles move and cause varying degrees of pain depending upon where they are.

Sandy has been a trooper, supporting me in this quest. She herself is not sleeping well, not eating well, just worried about me. She is taking off a little early today so she and my visiting family can go out tonight for Thanksgiving Dinner. She has decided not to cook tomorrow for Thanksgiving for the first time since we have been married (29 years) so I don't have to deal with all of the aroma's of her incredible cooking. I have an incredible wife and love her completely and will continue to need her support as this holiday season will be difficult for me, I am sure. I will be on pureed foods throughout the entire season and historically the Holiday season and been the time of the year when I do my "best work" in eating copious amounts of food. I think for Christmas, I will take a half cup of turkey, mashed potatoes, peas and cranberry sauce, add some chicken stock, bend and see what happens.

It's about 4 PM now, the gas pains are horrible, and all of a sudden I feel that oh so pleasant pressure that signals impending passing of gas. This is going to be much easier than peeing.
So I waddle off to the bathroom, take a seat, get comfortable and whoooossscchhhh! The rushing wind. Those of you that have trouble with farting may want to turn the page here. But, I am going to detail this fart.

As a farting connoisseur, I have never experience a wind quite like this. It wasn't a rumble, but much more of a pop, followed by a gas release. Not odorific, well, I didn't think so. Think about a small balloon with its opening flopping open and the trapped air rushing out for a couple of seconds. It was a good start, a very good start. Another milestone met.

Again the angelic Crystal seemed truly happy at the news of the wind and continued to cheer me on. Pardon me, I farted again. The rest of the day just cruised and several imposing farts later I knew it was time for my first Bowel Movement. I will not go into detail about the milestone event. I will not gross you out with accurate explanations about the dark liquefied, gooey, nasty gas accelerated crap bomb, with what I have started to call crap shrapnel. But when it happens to you, don't be alarmed, and I hope your Crystal reacts to it a positively as my Crystal did.

The Angelic Crystal was relieved by the evil Tami around 7 PM. Had another round of vitals, Pepcid and Heparin. Pain Meds around 11 PM and I would have slept all night had it not been for the Techs taking vitals every 4 hours.

Nov. 21, 2007 Midnight to Noon - The Flow

2008-03-09T17:18:00.000-07:00

I have determined that I am beginning to not like Tami the nurse who came on at 7. Its just after midnight and I dread the words that are about to come out of her mouth with that cute southern drawl. They have come out of her mouth several times in the last few hours. "Any Luck?" she says. Those two words would have been fine if I was fishing, or at the Blackjack table. But at this moment in time, they were dreaded. Tonight, I definitely do not like Tami.

I cannot pee.

I have stood, laid down, sat "chick" style. I have walked. Sipped. Walked some more. I have pushed, squeezed, prayed, stood, sit, and prayed again. "God, I know you are there, and it's not like I am asking you to save my life or anything. I just wanna pee." Can one say "pee" to God. Is that one of the "words" you cannot say in church, with out the wrath of the All- Seeing, Non-Peeing God coming down upon you?

Stand, shake, sit. I cannot pee.

It's now after midnight and those two words come grating across my brain receptacles, "Any Luck"? I hate Tami. My mind screams " leave me alone you southern blankity-blank, can't you see I am trying to. I am sitting, standing, squeezing, pushing, dancing, walking, LEAVE ME ALONE", but I open my mouth and all that comes out is an embarrassed whisper of a "No". She has to let my Doctor know and we may have to put the catheter back in. I instinctively curl into a fetal position. Even I, in my Loritab induced haze know that this cannot be pleasant. It was performed under general anesthesia the first time and the only reason I know that is because there it was, in all its hanging glory after I woke up. I cannot even comprehend the horror of that occurring awake. Twelve to eighteen inches of poly-tubing being shoved up my hoo-hoo. I think "My Guy" just instinctively shrunk in horror.

Stand, shake, sit. I cannot pee. This is beginning to kinda suck.

I was starting to sweat, hey does that count as peeing, when the young female tech came in the darkened room with a rolling cart. She politely states she is here for a bladder scan to see how much fluid is in my bladder. So again I have to expose my now shrunken in fear nether regions (hey does that come in adult sizes?) to this 20 something blond tech. I definitely was not in my glory, and she scanned my non-producing bladder. 259 ml's. 259 ml's, she said again. Was that good? Bad? Do I have to worry? The tech said that the bladder is not very full. Even though they have been pumping 150 ML of fluids into me every 6 hours, since Monday, maybe I really had been dehydrated as my mouth and throat had attested to.

Stand, shake, sit, dance, squeeze, walk. I cannot pee. Oh where is that golden flow? This is really beginning to suck.

It is somewhere around 2 AM when the evil Tami returns carrying the Oh My Gosh, Mount Everest, Holy Mother of God largest IV bag I have ever seen, and I watch ER alot. Doc wants me to have a "bolus" what ever that is. I come to find out it is a large (600 ml) amount of fluid through my IV injected in a short period of time. So Tami and her three large WWE assistants carrying the 600 ML IV bag hoist the bag onto the IV pole. I think I hear the pole groaning under the massive weight of the bag. Ok, so I am exaggerating a little. The evil Tami connects the IV Bolus and starts flowing away. My hand felt a little colder, that was strange, but Here comes the Bolus. I get a new blast of Loritab, and it's off to LaLa land.

5 AM comes around, Stand, shake, pray, sit, dance, squeeze, walk, pray again. I cannot pee. I am getting desperate and truly sub-consciously fearful.

This is really beginning to suck and I decide to walk again. 6 AM is rapidly approaching when the tech come in with my twice daily dose of Pepcid and Heparin. The Pepcid is to prevent any reflux and the Heparin is a blood thinner. I am going to walk again when I feel, whats that, but the slightest bit of pressure in my bladder that sends those signals to my neural receptors, telling my brain - I GOTTA GO PEE. I shuffled off to the bathroom, bending IV pole in hand and stand there urine receptacle inn hand. I stand, I dance, Praying again now, and I hear a dribble against plastic.

Dribble, dribble............and before you know it I am into continuous partial flow. Eureka. This could be the best day ever. I can pee. Its not full force, it is a darker more concentrated color, but who cares, I can pee - which means no Foley for me. What a site, a beautiful, yellow liquid 100 ml gift for the evil Tami. Maybe she is not so evil after all.

7 AM and the evil Tami is relieved by Crystal. I have never seen anyone so happy over urine as Crystal was. She kept congratulating me, telling me how great I was doing. After that nite with the evil Tami, I am sure I see the slightest forming of an angelic halo over Crystals head. Maybe its the Loritab.

Pain is lessening from all of the lap sites except the drain site and the gas pain is really starting to intensify. Gas pain in shoulder, back and chest. Starting to get hard to stay comfortable in my bed. Walking and breathing in the breathing thingy seem to help the most.

I can pee (again). I am a big boy now.

Next Milestone will be farting, something, that my wife knows, I am an expert at.

Nov. 20, 2007 - Noon to Midnight - Anticipating the Flow.

2008-03-09T17:10:00.000-07:00

I awoke to the wonderful sight of Wheelchair Pusher Girl. I am sure they have an official title, but all I know, at that point in time, is that she will be called Wheelchair Pusher Girl and that Wheelchair Pusher Girl = the test and passing the test = water therefore, Wheelchair Pusher Girl = water in my current 4 mg of morphine one hour ago hazed mind. My high school algebra teacher would be happy. Let us review, if A=B and B=C, then A=C. On to the test.

So as best as we could, we gathered up the IV pole and machine attached to my left hand, the catheter bag attached to my, well you know where that is attached and my oxygen tank attached to my nose, and off we went to XRay. 5 floors down, to the left, or was it right, left turn again through the automatic doors, I got to push the button, and parked in the hall outside of the Swallow Test room. Oh yeah, I had my file (one large binder) in my lap also.

The swallow test, is a test infront of a GE digitized XRay machine, where I am bestowed the awesome task of drinking this Barium Sulfate concoction. Barium sulfate is radioopaque (x-ray absorbent), used in X-ray diagnostic work for obtaining images of the digestive system ("barium meals" and "barium enemas"). Thank you Mr. Wiki. Now Crystal (God love her) in her obvious brilliant wisdom has prepped me for this with another shot, that will prevent nausea, because this Barium crap is supposed to be so foul tasting, horrible, awful, save the women and children, and just downright bad. At this point I am so thirsty, I might even consider a liquefied cat crap cocktail, so I am not too fearful of this XRay drink. I have to stand infront of an XRay machine while I drink the stuff so the Dr. can watch it pass though my system. If it flows correctly to where it should, I pass. If I pass, I get water, if I don't, well, I won't even think of that right now. I was always good in high school at tests. I have always been great at drinking, and this is a drinking test. Should be a piece of cake.

Let the test begin, I am in the machine and take a normal sized swallow of this golden elixir. The muscles in my face contorted into positions that I am sure they have never been in before. How can something that looks like Golschlager taste like???? I don't even know what this tastes like. There is nothing that can explain it, and now " Dr. This Stuff tastes like reconstituted second-hand hell" wants me to drink again. All I am thinking, is water, water, cool, clear Omaha Metropolitan Utility District City tap water. So I take my second drink, again the similar facial reaction, and I hear those magic words, you passed!!!

Thunder and lightning, fireworks, I get water!!! Now where the heck is WheelChair Pusher Girl, I gets me some agua!

Back to the room and there she is, in her radiance, My Crystal, with that beautiful plastic graduated 1 ounce cup filled to the brim with cool, clear Omaha Metropolitan Utility District City tap water. Imagine my disappointment when I realized how small a portion one ounce of water was, and how quickly my disappointment returned to joy as that first tiny sip slipped past my parched throat. I was going to enjoy this slowly. Crystal brought me another prize also. Now that I could ingest orally, the pain would now be crushed by my new friend, Loritab Elixir. Basically Liquid Vicodin and Tylenol. That stuff made me Mr. Pain No More and worked awesome.

As soon as I was starting to feel the effects of the Loritab, Crystal and Polly were back, much to my chagrin, to remove my Foley Catheter. No, please do this in my sleep, I promise, I won't be mad. Nope, gonna do it now and Polly (the trainee) gets to do it. Great. After some fumbling with "My Guy" I am told to take a deep breath, and blow out slowly and away Polly pulls. I swear I just peed myself. That is what it felt like. When I realized that I hadn't I just smiled shyly, thanked them and hoped deep in my heart that I would never have to do that again. Crystal reminded me that the next milestone was passing water. Peeing. Urinating. And that would turn out to be the scariest of all.

Tami relieved Crystal and Polly. Lord, all I want to do is pee now - please?

Nov. 20, 2007 - Midnight to Noon - I am Thirsty

2008-03-09T17:07:00.000-07:00

I am thirsty.

I could end this blog right here and that would sum this morning up. I will repeat, I am thirsty. I have had nothing to drink since 10:30 on Sunday night and it is now 0630 on Tuesday Nov 20th and my throat and mouth is so dry. Sure, I have been on an IV, I have the Foley Catheter properly installed (a story which I will elaborate upon) and I am involuntarily moving bodily fluids. But my mouth is dry and my throat hurts and I have just been told that I can have nothing to drink until my "Swallow Test" (get your minds out of the gutter right now), Which is at least 5 or 6 hours away.

The pain is still pretty severe after 2 or so hours of Karen's and now the wonderful Jennie's visits. They have been keeping on top of the pain. Today I also realized I have the On-Q Pain Buster around my neck which is providing pain meds subcutaneously to the areas of the most internal work. This morning I really started feeling the gas bubble in my torso (used to "Pump me up" so the Surgeon has room to work inside me. I am starting to have trouble differentiating the pain - is it from the cuts and mods or is it from the gas? I have a sharp pain in my left collarbone area, which I am sure is from the gas. That keeps coming back with the mid-torso pain. It will be around for a few days I am sure.

Crystal came on around 7 AM as my new nurse, she is also training Polly. Polly Pureheart! There's no need to fear, Underdog is here! Crystal and Polly will be with me for the next 12 hours or so. These nurses are amazing. They work so hard and have to take so much crap from people. I hear the nurses outside tell each other I am a great patient, so I don't want to ruin that. They really have taken care of me so well.

I am thirsty.

We were informed that my swallow test "may" occur around 10:30 AM. That is a milestone. Many things occur when you pass that test. First on my list is I get to DRINK WATER. Did I mention that I was thirsty? One ounce of water by mouth for 16 hours after I pass the swallow test. Bring on the test! At that time they will remove my catheter. Oh joy! Two attractive women, getting to see me in all my post-operative glory, removing approximately 18 inches of poly tubing strategically placed inside my lower nether regions. I am not looking forward to that part, but Bring on the test!

I have walked already a couple of times today, walking feels good and I am so "upright". I decide to sit in the uncomfortable chair in preparation for the wheelchair pusher girl to come and get me. It is 10:25 AM.

10:30 AM I am thirsty and no test. Bring on the test!

11:00 AM and no test. I am still thirsty and my back is starting to hurt. Bring on the test!

11:30 AM and no test. I am still thirsty, my back hurts, my shoulder hurts, my stomach hurts and I am getting cranky and I can no longer focus on the television. For the love of all that is good, would somebody please bring on the test!

11:45 AM and no test. I am still thirsty, my throat hurts, my lower back hurts, my left shoulder hurts, my stomach hurts freaking everywhere and I am really cranky, the TV is a blur and for the sake of all the poor little starving children in the world, Crystal - Bring on the Morphine - screw the test.

The swallow test will happen when it happens. Time for Jim to nap. The pain is gone, Crystal is my best friend, and I am still thirsty.

Nov, 19, 2007 - Operation

2007-12-20T19:47:00.001-08:00

This has been an interesting day. I arrived at the hospital on time. I kept waiting to sign a paper stating I would not hold the hospital responsible if I died, but that doc was never placed in front of me. They gave my wife a restaurant thingy, You know, the one you get at the Red Lobster or the Outback when your table is ready, but instead of a table, it was the one you get when your husband is ready. I thought it was funny that I was having gastric bypass, and my wife was given a restaurant thingy.

So off to the prep room I went. They should really put some art in there. The grey walls were rather bland and non-descript. Put on my beautiful hospital gown and spent some time with Maureen - my pre-op nurse. Everyone kept asking me if I knew what surgery I was having and to explain it in my own words. I thought that strange. It occurred at least ten times. After 5 or 6 times I started answering Gender Re-assignment. I got a good look a few times, and then they realized that I was a smart-alek.

I spoke with the Dr of Anesthesiology and we ended up talking alot about my job and the Power needs of the Omaha area along with Wind Power. Maureen placed my IV and about 9:20 AM - I kissed my wife and rolled off to the OR(That's Operating Room for those of you that don't watch ER (That's Emergency Room)).

The next hour and a half is kind of hazy. I guess that is a good thing. I rolled into the OR - I wanted to remember the music that was playing, and I knew the song. But for the life of me I cannot remember the song. I slid to the operating table and they started strapping me in, arms and legs. Someone put a mask on my face and said breath deeply, i took a couple of breathes and remember thinking this is gonna take a while, I did not feel sleepy........................

.....................................................................................................and then I woke up.

That was just weird. That time of my life is just gone. It was about 11:45, I think, a major event in my life had just occurred, and I missed it. These was lots of beeping, lots of activity, bright lights, and people all around me. Someone pulled a tube out of my mouth. Crap - that hurt. Vitals, lots of questions. Vitals again, Someone said everything went very well. My buddy Dave told me you feel like a million bucks when you wake up. I really don't remember how I felt. In fact, I am not sure I accurately remember what time I was rolled into my room and when I saw Sandy and my other visitors. I was sleepy, and I realized that sometimes Drugs are good.

Now, if that is what a million bucks felt like, about three hours later, I felt like a buck-fity. This sucks. But wait, there is morphine and I don't have to wait for it. I'm gonna like Karen. Sleepy again. Hey, I am awake again. Karen is back and asks me how my pain is. I had decided that if I can can keep it below three on a scale of ten, I was going to try to live with it. Everyone is still here. Lots of hello, telling me how great I look. Yeah right, a big fat guy who just had major surgery and I look "Great". Who is lying to whom here. Pain is about a 7 - so more morphine is delivered and the pain quickly subsides. Vitals are taken, BP is great, temp is great, all is well in Whoville. I talk to my kids (I think), call some friends (Rich and Briana) to lets them know I am alive and decide it is time to sleep again. Karen keeps the pain going away. I know I am gonna like Karen.

Awake again, and it has been about 6 or 7 hours since the surgery. It is time to take my first walk. What you say? Yep, six hours after "The Event" I am taking a lap around the 5E wing. I get out of bed, that hurt, disconnect the power cord for the IV thingy machine, put on a second beautiful hospital gown, so my rear nether regions would not be exposed to the world, not that at that point I would have really cared, and strolling I went. IV thingy machine in my right hand, my sweetie in my left and the trainee nurse trailing. Sandy kept talking about how well I was doing and how upright I was. I would imagine the first upright walking Ape received the same compliments from his bride. About half way around, all I could think of was not how upright I was, but where was my friend Karen. Pain at a level is nothing I ever want to experience again and if I have my way, oh here is Karen now. Obviously the best nurse ever! Off to sleep again.

That really is the extent of my first day. Drugs, surgery, drugs, drugs, tests, drugs, walking drugs with a lot of sleep mixed in between. Let's see what tomorrow brings.

Be well all.

Nov. 19, 2007 - Ok, Here we go!

2007-12-20T19:46:00.001-08:00

This is the day. I have given it all to my Lord and Savior. Off to the Hospital and the skills of Dr. Thomas White. All is in order. Let the cutting commence. I do have a strange calm and I slept well last night.

I love my wife and children.

Nov 16, 2007 - 3 Days Pre-Op

2007-12-20T19:45:00.001-08:00

Today I received a call from Trish, the nurse putting my file together for my impending surgery. I guess we would call this my pre-op consultation. She was very pleasant and asked many questions, on which I will elaborate later. It has been a busy week. All the preps are done, I am enjoying my liquid diet and I am ready to go.

First on Monday of this week I called my employers disability center. I do have 20 sick days, but if I am going to be out more that 7 straight, I must register a disability claim which is claim number 63494. This ensures I will continue to get fully paid for the 20 Personal Illness Payments. After the 20 days (if I am still convalescing) I can get 26 weeks of extended disability at 50% pay (up to 100% pay if my Manager approves, I hope I have done a good job!) I do not expect that I will need it, but it is good knowledge to have.

I then phoned my Medical Insurance Company to verify that they had all the proper approvals in place. I spoke with a very nice lady and she reviewed my record and ensured me that all approvals were in place and that they needed nothing else from me. That was way too easy and in past dealings with Insurance Companies, I hope this simpleness of this will not come back to haunt me. Getting approved seemed much to simple.

Wednesday I had my pre-op physical. Dr. Z is fantastic. He has been very supportive in this whole process. Much unlike my PCP in Albuquerque. She does not believe in this surgery and routinely spoke against it. That to me was very surprising and I still don't know what her problem with the procedure was. So I was poked (dang vampires), prodded, EKG'd and generally looked over. Oh yeah, two shots, flu vaccine and a Tetanus shot. Two days later and the Tetanus site site hurts. I am pretty sure the nurse enjoyed ripping the few hairs that I have out of my chest when removing the EKG probes. She had this evil smile on her face, and with every pull - said "take that!" I am just joking about that, but I did accuse her of enjoying that part a little too much. Dr. Z also perscribed some Ambien - I am having trouble sleeping. Probably a little stress - you think? Doc said I was ready to go, said I would do well and wished me well. I told him that I would see him in 30 pounds.

Wednesday afternoon I spoke with my good friend who is also a financial adviser. We spoke in depth about my insurance, investments, and what I wanted just in case I am not here on Tuesday. I have taken to calling that potential outcome "In case something stupid happens." The reality of this surgery is real and there is risk. Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to try to cover all aspects to ensure my wife is taken care of "if something stupid happens." Dave wrote my desires and wishes down, and we agreed to burn the document on next years vacation.

Which brings me to Friday. Three days to go before my surgery. 3 days before a major life changing event. As I wrote earlier, Trish called. She is from the hospital getting "My File" ready. She asked me lots of questions. Here are a few:

Can you tell me in your own words what surgery you are having? I had kind of hoped they knew what surgery they were performing on me - but I answered "The Laproscopic R-N-Y Gastric Bypass Surgery. "
Do you have a recent loss that you want to tell me about? That was a strange question. I told her about my dog Tucker, who died 3 years ago. She pretty much knew that I was a smart alek by this time.
Do you feel safe around your house and neighborhood? That was a really strange question, and I probed her to explain the question. She said that some people have real fears in their house with domestic violence. I am glad that is not an issue I have to deal with.
She was very surprised that I answered yes to the question, Do you have a living will? She stated that "Most" people do not have one, and that ask the question to prod folks into thinking about the need for one.

So now I am ready. Three Days. Lets do this.

7 Days Pre-Op

2007-12-20T19:43:00.000-08:00

I am seven days away from my surgery. 3 days into the liquid diet again, It has really helped me not think about food. I am ready paperwork wise. I have a physical on Thursday. I always associate a physical with the words "Turn your head and cough". Why did they do that when we were in school. I never understood what the Doctors were looking for when they did that. It is not worse than a prostate exam. That is definitely worse.

I am trying to assess where I am mentally with this surgery. I have been edgy this week. As one who has never experienced the joys of anesthesia or flesh parting as a scalpel finds its mark, that still seems to bother me. Also dealing with my own mortality has been a bit of a strain. Think about this, I mean really ponder it. What would you be doing if you chose to have a surgery, that you could die from. Nationally - 1 in 100 die from this surgery. What would you do? What plans would you make? Who would you talk to? Whom would you reach out to?

I called a good friend today. Dave and his wife Sherry are like family. In fact, if I could choose a brother, it would be Dave. We are already Brothers in Christ. Somehow, if I had the option, I would select Dave to be my brother. He promised to help my wife, OK, let us just say it, if I die. I asked him to. I don't think I had to ask, he would have any way. But I needed to know that someone would be there to help Sandy if something stupid happens next Monday. We are going to talk tomorrow. He is going to take notes to ensure he knows what I want for my wife, if I am not here in a month. We agreed that Sandy and I would go to Alaska next year so Dave and I can but those notes while fly fishing for monster trout, but I am glad he and I can talk about these things.

I am going to post my picture today. It will be the last photo taken prior to my surgery. One last reminder of myself in all my largeness. Let the shedding of pounds begin. I have many friends and acquaintances that I know are Praying for me. That is the most important thing to me. That will help me the most. I have a beautiful wife and am living an incredible blessed life. I am one lucky man.

Pre - Surgery Seminar

2007-12-20T19:40:00.000-08:00

Monday evening my wife and I attended the Pre- Surgery Seminar. Two hours spent with Beth the Nutritionist and Roxi the Coordinator of the Program. I really like Roxi alot. The first hour was nutrition and what we will get to eat ( for the rest of our life) and more importantly pre and post surgery.

Ten Days prior to the surgery and 20 days post this will be my diet. Fasten your seat belts.

Cream Soups (reduced fat, thinned)
Tomato Soup (reduced fat, thinned)
Broth (chicken or beef), Consumme or bouillon ( fancy words for broth)
No sugar added Carnation Instant Breakfast
Slimfast 2g Net Carbs (avoid Ensure or Boost)
Tea or Coffee (limit amounts and decaf is best) (Not)
Sugar Free Jello
Diet Custard, sugar free low-fat puddings ( Now I am pretty much a custard expert. My All time favorite dessert is Creme Brulee. Is "Diet Custard" even custard. This one is just plain scary.)
Low-fat sugar free Yogurt (without nuts, fruits or preserves) ( Probably really means without taste)
Sugar free Popsicles
Unsweetened fruit or vegetable juice (best to dilute half and half with water)
Cream of wheat (thinned) ( Yummo!)
Crystal Light, Sugar free Kool-aid
AVOID Chocolate Milk and puddings made with whole milk
AVOID carbonated beverages such as soda pop, club soda, sparkling water; caffeinated beverages, or alcoholic beverages.

That is one exciting menu. 30 days on liquids. Is diet custard even possible?

Roxi was next with the discussion of the surgery, schedules and what to expect. The surgery will be laproscopic so I will have 6 holes in me, one of which will be left open for a couple of days with a drain coming out to ensure no leakage from the staple sites. I should be home in three days with a one to three weeks recovery time. I was told to expect to be very tired and feel weak for a few days after surgery. Duh!

I actually was a very good meeting and I appreciate Beth and Roxi and their commitment to helping us.